i was never jealous of barbie’s body
i was jealous of all the shit she had and that fucking mansion and her pimp ass car and her hot boyfriend
things girls do that I love:
- offer their friends sips of their coffee drinks without being asked
- scratch each others back
- say things like “smell this lotion I bought this weekend”
- compliment each other’s eyebrows
- that thing when they agree with you and their eyes get really wide and they nod their head solemnly
- throw out each others gum wrappers or chip bags when they get up
Life Lesson: Never miss class.
Because if you miss a once-a-week class you will fail to ask a classmate how far they got on the case briefing and just ASSUME that the class is up to date (or at least within two cases of on target per the syllabus) and you’ll read accordingly with those presumptions and skip the reading from the week you missed and read what is assigned and YOU WILL BE WRONG AND BE STUCK IN A THREE HOUR CLASS WITH NOTHING TO CONTRIBUTE TO THE DISCUSSIONS AND FEEL LIKE AN ABSOLUTE FAILURE AND HORRIBLE AND GUILTY AND SCUM.
JFC, GET ME OUT OF HERE.